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Tuesday, November 11, 2025

The Nintendo report: robots, radars and rhythm


Welcome again to The Nintendo report! That is the place we have been analyzing all of Nintendo’s properties and types to see how properly they’re doing nowadays (in alphabetical order). Some have been nice. Some, not so good. And as we speak we come to an attention-grabbing letter: R. How are the R properties of the massive N working? Let’s discover out in The Nintendo Report.

radar mission

Have you ever ever performed the board recreation Battleship? If that’s the case, you’ve got principally performed Radar Mission. You will have a grid with a handful of ships, as does your opponent. You then observe your missile launches to strive to determine the place your enemy’s ships are and blow them up. It is a timeless method that has been imitated endlessly, however hardly ever with such nice musical accompaniment!

Well being score: principally useless

Radar Mission is a novel sort of recreation, however solely form of like that. Whereas not technically associated so far as I do know, Radar Mission’s second recreation mode seems to have been the inspiration for Metal Diver, a recreation we’ll certainly cowl quickly. However the Radar Mission model itself? Little or no has occurred to it within the 35 years since its launch. It got here to the 3DS Digital Console, however that is about it. This looks as if the form of recreation that might work properly as a price range eShop recreation, however for now, that is the model’s solely entry. Pity.

Radar vary

Earlier than coming into the house console market, Nintendo made arcade video games. A number of of them have been considerably by-product works, together with Radar Scope. It was a reasonably attention-grabbing tackle the House Invaders method, presenting gamers with a transparent pseudo-3D perspective. The issue is that, though it was reasonably profitable in Japan, it landed in america with a thud.

Well being score: principally useless

The failure of Radar Scope is the stuff of legend. Not as a result of the sport is especially dangerous, however as a result of it straight led to the creation of Donkey Kong and, by extension, Mario. If Radar Scope had been profitable, we would by no means have gotten Tremendous Mario Bros., and who desires to dwell in a world like that? As for Radar Scope itself, so far as I do know, Nintendo has by no means reissued this recreation in any kind. I believe it is a toast to without end.

pink alarm

Nintendo made quite a lot of high-profile errors with the Digital Boy, and Purple Alarm is definitely one in all them, however they’ll hardly be blamed for making them. Primarily as a result of they did not. Purple Alarm is technically a third-party recreation from T&E Smooth, however Nintendo was concerned in its manufacturing to some extent (so far as I do know) and printed it themselves. It is a wireframe 3D motion recreation that in all probability makes extra use of the Digital Boy’s distinctive capabilities than every other launch for the platform.

Well being score: principally useless

Like nearly each Digital Boy recreation on the market, Purple Alarm was one other one and it was finished. In all probability as a result of, whereas it is a very spectacular recreation when considered by way of the Digital Boy, it is not precisely what many would take into account “enjoyable.” It additionally did not have any form of memorable narrative and even visible design to talk of. It appears to be like like an entire mess when considered anyplace however the Digital Boy, and it is nonetheless not very simple to inform what is going on on even there. Purple Alarm was a valiant effort, however I can not think about (aside from the upcoming Digital Boy: Nintendo Classics line for Change 2) that Purple Alarm will ever return in any vital capability.

Rhythm Heaven

Rhythm video games take many types, however I might say none are as charming as Nintendo’s quirky Rhythm Heaven model. It is a assortment of rhythm-based mini-games which might be as enjoyable as they’re unusual. And while you’ve received lumberjack bears, dancing frogs, baseball in house, and onions that want chopping readily available, you higher consider this one has loads of bizarre stuff.

Well being score: Glorious

If I had written this only a few months in the past, I’d have proclaimed this collection Mainly Useless. One of many driving forces behind the sport, Tsunku, needed to have his vocal cords eliminated attributable to laryngeal most cancers, and the final entry within the collection was the 2016 3DS recreation Rhythm Heaven Megamix, which wasn’t even made up of fully unique content material. However right here we’re in 2025 with a brand new Rhythm Heaven recreation coming to Nintendo Change in 2026. It appears to be like nice too! Rhythm Heaven is alive and properly, and the world is a greater place for it.

ring setting

When the Wii Match U failed to succeed in the identical numbers because the Wii Match, which offered within the billions, it appeared believable that Nintendo was going to desert the health style altogether. Fortunately, they did not surrender and ended up making the sensible Ring Match Journey. The place Wii Match was a quite simple health program, Ring Match Journey is a full turn-based RPG the place you carry out varied varieties of train with a Joycon strapped to your leg and an digital Pilates ring in your arms to assault and defend. It is completely sensible.

Well being score: Glorious

It is shocking to me that Ring Match Journey hasn’t had any form of follow-up but, however I’ve to imagine it is inevitable as a result of my goodness, that recreation offered numerous copies. Like a ton and a half of copies. I truthfully cannot think about a world the place Nintendo simply leaves this property alone without end. Ring Match Journey 2 is inevitable and I’m 100% right here for it.

STEAL

ROB is a really attention-grabbing property as a result of it’s not a recreation, it’s a peripheral. And a barely useful one! However I made a decision to place Gyromite and Stack Up right here on this class as a substitute of protecting them each individually, since they’re each associated. ROB is a bodily robotic that “helps” you play video games on the NES. Usually you management his supposed creator, Professor Hector, whereas ROB makes some very sluggish rudimentary actions together with his um… arms? It is unusual.

Well being score: principally useless

For apparent causes, the precise ROB accent doesn’t exist but. It barely labored at its greatest, and the 2 video games launched to work with it are fully unfinished. Nonetheless, ROB has endured. He was a playable character in Mario Kart DS and the later Smash Bros. video games, and his iconic design makes him nonetheless recognizable to at the present time. Personally, I feel there may be numerous potential on the planet of Professor Hector and ROB, however alas, I appear to be alone on this want. Gyromite 2: ROB’s Revenge is as doubtless as Digital Boy 2.

And that about sums it up for the letter R. It is not a spectacular efficiency by Nintendo, however I assume it may at all times be worse. Be a part of us subsequent time for the letter S. Nicely, the primary half of S. There are a LOT of S video games.

Goodbye!



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